Charles Synyard (@CharlesSynyard)

1/2 “‘VANDALISM SYMPTOM OF GROWING MORAL DECAY “‘*Once again, with this weekend's vandalism at Wakeman Junior High, the public is appalled at the deteriorating moral standards of today's youth. It is a sad commentary on the state of our society when our young people, who have been pampered more than any generation in history, can find no better way to express themselves than by destroying public property.* “‘*What has happened to old-fashioned decency in this day of drugs, street gangs, and vandalism? What has happened to responsibility?’* “Gulping hard, Beth read the editorial a second time and then a third. ‘“Drugs, street gangs, and vandalism”?’ she whispered incredulously. ‘That's me they're talking about. *Me and my friends*. Is that what they really think of us?’” (30) When four delinquents trash Wakeman “Wacko” Junior High, the students, who have to help clean up the mess, and even all of Generation X, take the blame! Unfair! Which reminds me, before going on, of a great passage from a famous children’s author. “It  isn’t  fair,  Ramona  told  herself,  even  though  grown-ups  were  always  telling  her  life  was  not  fair.  It  wasn’t  fair  that  life  wasn’t  fair.“ (Beverly Cleary, Ramona Forever). Neither does Beth Barry take such a dismissive, defeatist attitude in Celebrity Auction, the April 1990 seventeenth book in the Fabulous Five series, by Betsy Haynes! Beth Barry is the most dramatic, extroverted member of the series title clique, so entries starring her are usually fun. Just so, it’s upsetting when something happens to crush her high spirits. One Monday in the spring semester of seventh grade, Beth and the rest of the Fabulous Five arrive as usual, only to be told the whole school has been hit by vandals. “Beth looked around in amazement as she entered the front door of the school. The glass trophy case at the top of the stairs was shattered, and most of the trophies lay on their sides. Obscene graffiti had been spray-painted all over the halls, and large stacks of paper had been tossed around like giants' confetti. “‘Poor Wacko,’ she whispered. ‘It looks like somebody bombed it.’ “As The Fabulous Five walked through the halls, heading for their homerooms, Beth noticed an uneasy stillness in the school. The shock of what had happened was sinking in, and kids were marching along like zombies, hardly talking, just looking around and shaking their heads in disbelief. She shuddered, trying to shake away her own uneasy feeling. It was scary, she thought, almost as if someone had broken into her house and turned everything her family owned upside down.” (15-16) This disrespectful treatment of the school leaves Beth and others feeling personally violated, as if their own homes had been broken into and wrecked. Her friend Melanie Edwards feels so sickened she vomits, and has to go home. Those who stay, though, are enlisted to help clean it up, including food strewn all over the cafeteria that’s spoiled over the weekend. Everyone knows who the culprits are, but they have no proof. Before anyone even enters the building, everyone is already saying it has to be Steve Melchior and his friends Tucker Cobler, John Mauhl, and Jay Romberg, malcontents repeating ninth grade until they turn 16 and can legally drop out (22). They go about taunting others, and essentially admitting to what they did during lunch. Later she teams up with the science teacher Mr. Dracovitch to nab them. So you can understand Beth’s frustration when many teachers, her father, and even the local editorial board finger all kids as to blame, when they were the ones who had everything in their school smashed up, and had to help clean up the mess. It’s 1990, and the boomers are already booming, denouncing the youth as privileged and spoiled. Even her own mother chimes in: “‘Humph,’ grumbled Mrs. Barry. ‘It just goes to prove what your father said this morning. Now, when we were growing up, we tried to handle things peacefully, with demonstrations, sit-ins, things like that. But kids today...’ She shook her head again as her words trailed off. “Beth glared at her. She knew something about the sixties and seventies, and not all kids who grew up then solved their problems peacefully, she thought. And besides, what was so peaceful about sitting down in front of traffic?” (27) Seeing the world, and your own past, through tye-dye-colored glasses. Back in the days of flower power… Beth is above getting into a generational squabble, but she knows better. Almost alone, she sets out to show that “kids these days” CAN be responsible and make a positive difference. Her resolve is as heartening as the challenges she needs overcome are daunting. As most students, and initially even her friends, reasonably see it, they didn’t do it, so they have nothing to prove. But Beth is determined to redeem Wacko in the world’s eyes. Her friends brainstorm for a while, passing through a number of ideas, such as this gem from the boy-crazy Fabulous Five member, Melanie Edwards. “‘We could have a booth at the next basketball game and sell kisses at a dollar apiece,’ offered Melanie. ‘I'd even be willing to work in the booth,’ she added with a giggle.” (51) The clique’s leader, Jana Morgan reasonably ignores this suggestion (if she hadn’t: “Jana, Beth, Katie, Christie, you aren’t going to believe this, someone bought all 5,000 kisses!” …) But eventually they work through the notion of a garage sale, to realizing they could get some merch that adults would like to buy if they appeal to celebrities for donations, and commit to organizing a celebrity auction. It’s a neat idea, and certainly interesting to see how they make it happen. Throughout, we get plenty of name drops. Proving that “the more things change, the more things stay the same”, nearing 36 years after this hit the shelves, Mick Jagger is still a rock star beloved by the older generation! And I could only laugh to see the name Herschel Walker (56)! There is always something embarrassing about a failed political candidate, although checking, I read Walker was made US Ambassador to The Bahamas. One thing struck me as a strange choice. They learn from Christie’s love interest Jon Smith, whose parents are reporters, that there’s a reference book with the addresses of thousands of celebrities, and in the pre-Internet days, they take turns hitting the library and copying down hundreds of addresses. Given the history of this book series, though… wouldn’t it have made more sense to reach out to Taffy Sinclair? There hasn’t been much of her at Wacko lately; later in 1990 Taffy Sinclair Goes to Hollywood would come out, continuing the original series. I think now she is supposed to be auditioning for or actually away filming the made-for-TV movie Nobody Likes Tiffany Stafford, so her old rivals could easily have dropped her a line, and begged for her to spread the word about a good cause amongst the glitterati she brushed elbows with. Wouldn’t that have made more sense, and excited faithful series fans? Once the famous learned what had happened to the benighted junior high school, they could have sent in donations unsolicited, and Wacko would really have been floored by the level of success! So, this is a fun book with a lot of heart, and lessons old and young can use today, too, when I hear people too young to have read this book when it came out, barely over 30, kids-these-daysing. Me, I have a lot of respect for zoomers and the alphas; growing up with phones, casual stoner parents, and so many bad examples, that folks the age of the Fabulous Five or just reaching adulthood now are as kind and sensitive as they are is proof that yes, character still exists. As for the youth themselves, judging the middle-plus-aged millennials, Gen X, and the still-around boomers, Celebrity Auction reminds us, it is possible to forget or selectively remember: go easy on them, and be sure to remember what being young was like so you yourself don’t start saying: kids these days… Cover artist Andrew Bacha really captures Beth’s signature flair and pizzazz. Though, by the night of the auction itself, the triumph of her attempt to pay for the vandalism and redeem the students’ reputations is assured, so she definitely wouldn’t look so anxious. Alongside the generational conflict and fundraising, there’s also ample romantic drama, with Beth and her boyfriend Keith Masterson, as I cover in post 2/2, as if more reason were needed to check out Celebrity Auction! I was curious about the dedication. This profiled the teacher mentioned. [https://archive.ph/DusaZ](https://archive.ph/DusaZ) #BetsyHaynes #CelebrityAuction #FabulousFive #vandalism #generations #boomers #GenX #kidsthesedays #MickJagger #HerschelWalker #romance #love #childrensliterature #childrensbooks #literature #books