Alberich Lichtenberg (@Germanien)

—THE COST OF BEING SEEN ONLINE: MY FACE, THEIR PROJECTIONS— (PART 2) The Vulnerability Of The Androgynous Man And The Double Standard What struck me the most—and what affected me the most deeply—was the source of the majority of the hostile and aggressive comments: they almost always came from men who, beneath the appearance of "opinion," concealed racist, discriminatory, misogynistic, and homophobic attitudes. Over time, I came to understand that those attacks were never truly about me, but about them: deeply insecure individuals who insulted others in an attempt to feel superior and/or to conceal their own doubts about themselves, their #identity, and their #masculinity. I discovered that when you are young and possess physical features others perceive as attractive—or that do not conform to traditional stereotypes, such as an androgynous appearance—you can quickly become the target of hostile and obsessive dynamics. You may find yourself exposed to unwanted attention from older women projecting desires or fantasies onto you; aggression from prejudiced men who judge you without knowing you; flirtation from gay men trying to unsettle or challenge your sense of self; attention from ephebophiles pretending to be friendly to gain your trust; and even the harmful intentions of jealous, toxic, manipulative, sadistic, or deeply disturbed individuals. Public attacks often became a catalogue of other people’s frustrations, traumas, and insecurities: criticism of what I wrote, rejection because of my age, insults directed at my appearance, questioning of my background and identity, and suspicion over whether I was even a real person or an image generated by Artificial Intelligence. Yet perhaps the most revealing part of this experience was discovering the profound double standard that thrives on social media: many of the men who publicly insulted me in the comments section contacted me privately to apologize and start a conversation. In the intimacy of direct messages, hostility transformed into curiosity, admiration, and "need". They would often ask for my phone number, my address, or request intimate photographs, video calls, or dates in exchange for money. It is equally important to acknowledge that, amid all of this, I also received many genuine expressions of kindness and support from women whose interactions were consistently respectful and sincere. Many of them openly defended me when I was insulted or harassed, becoming an essential source of support during that period of my life. Returning To Balance And Final Reflections Exhausted from managing such a distorted environment, I ultimately made the decision to remove my photograph and limit the functions of my account. I disabled public comments, restricted private messages to people I personally approved, and stopped accepting friend requests from strangers. From that moment onward, calm returned to my digital life. I stopped being "popular" for the wrong reasons. The influx of followers attracted solely by my appearance disappeared. The messages with intrusive intentions, inappropriate offers, and harmful behavior came to an end. I regained my space, my peace of mind, and—most importantly—the ability for what I actually said and wrote to become the thing that truly mattered. This experience taught me a very important lesson: we should be extremely cautious about the photographs we upload and share on social media. An image that seems harmless can become an open door to harmful dynamics such as cyberbullying, public shaming, digital mob harassment, and stalking by dangerous individuals. Protecting our #privacy and personal safety is essential if we want to preserve our mental well-being and emotional health. #Racism #Bullying #Homophobia #Xenophobia #SocialNetworks #Discrimination #PersonalSafety #SexualHarassment