Carissa Conti (@Carissa_Conti)

Part 2 of 4 Hence began an ongoing back and forth for a full week as I attempted to talk him down from the ledge so to speak, as somebody who’s experienced pretty much every phenomenon he talks about. Our communications ranged from talking neutrally about things, to him throwing emotional temper tantrums that were full on “emotional terrorism” as I “jokingly” refer to it, engaging in some minor gaslighting against me, to talking about music, something very important to him being that he used to be in a band as a drummer. Music was a good sidetrack break from the negative. Author P.M.H. Atwater wasn’t kidding when she noted that nothing is more important to the guys of my generation then their music, it even comes before women. I’ve definitely seen this pattern too many times to count. So at one point he sent me a vid of his band on MTV’s The Beach House back in the 90s, where he was messing around with Jenny McCarthy sitting at his drum set in a bikini and showing her how to hold drum sticks. The whole thing was very intense up and down, high and low, back and forth, moody and gaslighting and back to normal again, firing off multiple “emails as texts” to me at a time which just blew up my phone, since he was in such a bad place (and an alcoholic on top of it, relying on whiskey to survive). Over 70 emails total in a week. So by the end of the week I was left feeling like I’d been involved in some months long abusive relationship of sorts where I didn’t even know myself anymore and where the sound of the email notification on my phone now had a slightly “PTSD” effect on me upon hearing it. O.o Truly, not trying to be histrionic. Took me about two weeks to clear myself out of it all. People who know me know that I don’t abide by BS and bad behavior of any type. But the reason I abided all of this was because I did, and still do, truly feel for this guy’s situation. I remember how he used to be when emailing me years ago, so there’s a soft spot there. And I can tell about people psychically on the core level, no matter how bad the exterior may be behaving. And he’s not a bad person. He’s just literally been driven over the edge. Despite the moments of bad behavior he was always very coherent and well written, very much NOT schizo/crazy. Though there were defensive moments on his part where he was expecting to be called that, because everybody else had. Which also made me feel bad, because I saw his endless proof and believed what he was relaying to me as somebody who’s experienced it all too. So I tiptoed on eggshells, not saying much of what I normally would nor pointing out his random gaslighting, in an effort to not further push him over, while constantly trying to reassure and reaffirm. (At one point I guessed him to be INFJ, due to the conspiracy and ongoing “woo,” the emotions-based responses and the website full of intelligent writings and organized proof, but he mentioned being INTJ.) (CONTINUED IN PART 3: https://gab.com/Carissa_Conti/posts/106424420182764304 )