Being “Nice” Might Win Approval—But Kindness Wins Respect and Trust

Being “nice” might win approval, but it can also hide dishonesty. Let’s not confuse politeness with integrity. Niceness may be used to avoid confrontation. Kindness tells the truth with love.

There’s a big difference between being nice and being kind. One wins quick approval; the other builds lasting respect. Niceness is smooth and polite—it often avoids conflict, plays it safe, and tells people what they want to hear. Kindness, on the other hand, doesn’t flinch from discomfort. It speaks the truth with love, even when it’s hard to say or hear.

Too often, we confuse the two. We think someone who smiles and flatters us is kind. But niceness can be a mask. It can hide manipulation, fear, or even dishonesty. Have you ever smiled at someone while silently wishing they'd go away? Or said, “Good job!” when deep down you knew it wasn’t true—just easier than being honest. That’s being nice. But it’s not being kind.

Kindness is real. It’s raw. It’s rooted in integrity. It doesn’t avoid confrontation—it embraces it when necessary, with courage and compassion. Kindness says, “You’ve got toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe,” not to embarrass you, but to save you from further embarrassment. Kindness says, “This might be hard to hear, but I care too much to stay silent.”

Being nice may keep the “peace”. Being kind makes peace a reality through honest interaction. Being nice may make people like you. Being kind helps people grow–you included.
So let’s not settle for niceness. Let’s strive for kindness.

The world doesn’t need more people who smile, look the other way, and say nothing.
It needs more people who speak the truth in love and act with courage.

Can you think of a time you were “nice” when you should’ve been kind?