Skuller Of Wedges (@Skuller_Of_Wedges)

Haven't been here in a while. Anxiety really kicking me in the teeth. On meds for a couple years, off them the last couple years, now back on them. Taking inventory of what causes me stress. This place (sometimes), and X ALL the time. Rarely ever go on X. I like PM's talk but can't really keep consuming "crashes", "collapses", turmoil. I can't in good conscience root for collapses and turmoil, especially just so the value of my holdings go up. I'm not saying anyone else is wrong in those conversations, and by all means have them. It's a free forum. I'm just saying that's what causes my anxiety to spike, which is no one's fault but my own. I went golfing. I looked around at all the open space. Birds chirping. A stream rolling over the rocks. Nice grass. Blue sky. Friendly playing partners. A cool drink. And I tell myself.....how can I keep this level of focus when I'm away from the course? Can I control the thoughts that scroll through my head? Not always, but I can somewhat control what puts those thoughts into my head in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I'm a mess right now, but I'm working on it. I keep breathing deep. I stop my legs from tensing up. I try to engage with people at work and talk about THEM, compliment THEM, which in turns gets my focus off me. Blessed by God, saved by undeserved grace. Blessed to have you all as acquaintances, and probably friends if we met in person. I hope you all have a great and meaningful day!!