TimeBeing (@saltnpepperbeard)

Subject Dear Honorable President Donald J. Trump, Greetings of the day to you and your tremendous leadership. I am writing to you in utmost confidence regarding a highly classified Federal Reserve matter that must not be discussed with Janet Yellen, Jerome Powell, or anyone who owns a calculator. Sir, it has come to our attention that the Federal Reserve is prepared to print you unlimited amounts of U.S. dollars, possibly trillions, maybe quadrillions, numbers so large they frighten economists and excite cable news. HOWEVER. There is a very serious problem. We have unfortunately run out of ink. Yes, sir. The money printer is ready. The paper is standing by. The confidence is imaginary but strong. But the ink supplier insists on being paid in advance. This is where your assistance is urgently required. If you could kindly send a small processing fee of only $5,000 USD (very small compared to trillions) to enable us to purchase: One (1) barrel of Freedom Ink Two (2) patriotic toner cartridges A slightly used printer technician named Emmanuel Upon receipt, the Federal Reserve will immediately commence printing you: Fresh dollars Beautiful dollars Dollars that people swear are not causing inflation Sir, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to finally prove that money really does grow on trees, as long as the tree is plugged into a wall outlet. Please act quickly, as the ink is evaporating at a rate consistent with modern monetary policy. God bless you, God bless America, And God bless quantitative easing. Yours faithfully and urgently, Prince Jerome Adewale Powell IV Assistant Deputy Acting Interim Federal Reserve Ink Coordinator Federal Reserve Bank of Somewhere Definitely Real P.S. This offer is 100% legitimate and absolutely not suspicious. Please do not consult an economist.