douglas paszkiewicz (@ArsenicLullaby)

After five minutes of watching the news and some reflection...do I go out now and buy high school football pads, spray paint them black and put cool spikes on them, or wait until next week when Old Navy starts making them? Probably, in all reality it'd be cheaper to just wait, taking into account the time/gas invested in going to find the pads, spray paint, spikes and at least two tries assembling it all. Then again, I don't wanna be going through the apocalyptic hellscape that was once a capitalist 1st world country in some brand name get up that was made in china. Although, technically it would have been made by slaves so that's kind of the right tone. I guess I could claim I'm wearing it ironically...I'd have to shout that over the sounds of the chainsaw I'd be swinging at anyone I saw on my way to scavenge. "I'm wearing it ironicallyyyyyy" BZZZZZZZZAWW "That's why the tags are still on" BZZZZZZZZZBZZZZZAW "I didn't just FORGET to take the tags off, that's the cool way to wear stuff" BZZBZZAAAWWWW. "Gahh!! YOu speared me....I'm speared (drops chainsaw)....you got this spear from Lowes, you hypocritical c*nt!...*gak*...*groan*...yes you did..there was a whole display...I saw it...when I got welding wire...for my cod...piece...there was a *cough* cardboard standup of some nascar guy holding one...*cough cough gak* no...it was... Pete Buttigieg (dies)"