Oatmeal Joey Arnold (@JoeyArnoldVN)

The chances of picking up the boogie man from an unclean counter or table surface is 1 in 10,000. If you do get it, you have a 1 in 10,000 chance of being infected by that and if you do get it, then you have a 1 in 10,000 chance of [CENSORED] from it, roughly speaking, something like 1 in 30,000 chance to, ummm, the d word, rhymes with pie, but I was put in Facebook Prison for 3 days recently simply for saying the d word or the k word which rhymes with Bill. These numbers are estimated minimums in most cases and the real numbers are generally a lot bigger meaning a lower percentage of potential of you getting you know what.