Planet Evans (@PlanetEvans)

I'm willing to admit that about 1 out of every 1,000 retarded lamestream media clickbait headlines actually entices me to click out of genuine interest, rather than raging hate. First of all, #RickSpringfield was an 1980s travesty, and the #VietnamWar was NOT, unless I'm missing some Mandela Effect, Twilight Zone, Guardian of Forever, interdimensional rift in or warped dilation of the spacetime continuum I've otherwise relied on to remain fairly stable. Secondly, how in the actual f did this go unreported UNTIL NOW, half a century or so later? And, finally, I'm pretty sure Rick Astley could kick his ass, unless Cindi Lauper secretly taught him some pop star faggot jujitsu while no one was watching so Captain Lou Albano could hire him as a face-rubberband assassin or something, so how the hell am I supposed to resist finding out if this was just another demented and sad Matthew Broderick DUI murder, or an actual, legit "Rick Springfield beat someone to death with his bare hands" story, hmmmmm?