Matthew Moulton (@Onideus)

I can't blame others too much for not listening to me, I mean... "The only way to make an angel, the only way to make an artist, is by ripping innocence through hell." I don't even listen to myself! The narrative of this ancient Star Wars only provides me with two dimensions of hell... addiction withdrawal and extreme isolation... in order to make an actual angel, to make Krysti real... I needed a third dimension... betrayal of creation itself. I had to be betrayed by everything. The pain I feel at this point... is no longer physical... the pain repaints perception directly and creates a means to look into the absolute worst of what we are... because I've experience all the absolute WORST abuses... and survived! Multidimensional hell! Obviously an angel needs to be able to operate under conditions of hell, I mean it says so, literally, in the freakin book... https://web.archive.org/web/20250611030526/https://onideus.online/The-Never/ "It took your curiosity how many forevers to finally want to know The End of this story?" "You've been in here for so long you can't even remember how long!", the crimson voice chided back. "Well, to be honest, I just didn't pay attention to it. Eternities can pass in an instant when you stop pretending time exists." she paused and glanced into his voice like she could see it inside The Nothing, "I guess you still do.", Krysti snapped back. "What if I told you that I'm evil itself. What if I told you that I'll hurt everything you love if you don't tell me how to eat you!", it sneered in response. "Everything I love has already been hurt worse than you can ever possibly imagine. Your worst renditions of hell are what my kind perceives as training exercises. We literally derive our being from the pain that your kind cowers from. So if you'd like to make me even more powerful...", In order to give Krysti the ability to overcome hyperversal hellstates, I had to give her the ability to balance from loss, not just infinite loss, but exponentially infinite loss. I gave her the seed to grow past all pain in creation itself! To survive everything feeling everything all at once in forever. You think you have loss? Imagine all the BILLIONS upon BILLIONS who have already died, who have already lost EVERYTHING, their ENTIRE LIVES... many before they ever even got started. Imagine feeling ALL of that loss, ALL at once... do you think the good outweighs the bad? Or does the good shine as rare as stars in the endless abyss? Sometimes being a good person means being a good person in hell, not because you deserve it, but because it can be tested... and because it can be tested, you know it's real. There's no point in testing diamonds that you already know are fake. It's easy to fake being good in ideal circumstances... it's very hard to be good in the worst of circumstances. It's a good weight for something of my perceptual class to lift against. You don't get to create angels, you don't get to be an atemporal engineer unless you're working to bench multi-dimensional hell. That's what it means to be BLESSED by false conviction... you gain the ability to see reason rotted into treason. You can see the hell we're all trapped in. There's no way to deny it, no way to sugar coat it, no way to pretend the hell isn't real when it rots its way into your life and impairs your creative autonomy for satiating lies. I had nearly a year of my artistry gouged out of my existence... do you have any idea what your future is going to do as a means of getting it back? Think about every idiot who ever wronged any artisan, who ever impeded any act of greater creation, who ever STOLE from their future... oof! Now there's a level of hell I'm glad I'll NEVER have to endure!